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Monday, September 25, 2006

I never thought that I had plucked enough strength to get you off this mind.
I din think it was that easy.
I had to be strong...
Living a day without you is hard. Not enough juz to distract myself from you and do other things but I had to re-adjust myself having to do things that we used to do. places we used to go.
i had to tell myself that its over. i cant lie to myself thats the truth.
i cant talk to you now i cant meet you for now..
i juz need space or be invisible for all i care.
this feeling is best left alone.

some ppl say its better to leave now or suffer more..
i been doin that. but this time i cant take this anymore.
i had to do it.
i had to move on...
there is someone for everyone..
I shall keep that in mind.
whoever that special someone wud be next,
i juz wish that that special smone will not do the same as you done.

over the weekend, went to flea market with nic, dzool, ben, ashes and myself.
tld myself that i better get those damn gaucho pants cuz i was wearing skirt and it was a day overdue!
slept at a frens' place din have time to go back to change.
i hate to wear skirts when goin on a bike.. makes me feel uncomfortable.
look on the brighter side... there is wind goin in and out from there...

oh yeah been planning what sticker shud put and all that so kudos to us ... it turns out ok..
after 2 trials... im proud of myself having to see that my fren liked it.. do you?
i will kill you if yu dont!
it was a killing tiring day.

oh well...
been thinkin of you the whole day thats for sure but i cant be with you.
I want to erase this awful memories that you created and tarnished this beautiful thing we once called our asmara.
yeah... i guess everything has to be out ..
i cant go to places where we shared.. practically everywhere!
why did you have to do this to me?
i was so distracted the whole day thinkin where you were and praying hard that i wun bump into you...

i cant imagine when im with someone new too.. and same goes for you..
i dun want to meet you with your new gf and likewise for you.
i rather not want you to see me with somebody new....
we been thru together, we used to do it together..
thru thick and thin...
but apparently not thru the wire and thru the fire...
juz thick and thin....

you have not 'mastered' the way of real sacrifice, real love,
how to love the person you love UNCONDITIONALLY...
its sad... but im glad that this ordeal is finally over.
I want to move on and eventually will meet someone whom i can respect, someone to call my own, someone who doesnt care abt time, someone who tells the truth.. someone who juz knows how it feels like to be hurt deeply by their loved ones so that they wun do the same with the new one... most importantly, someone who loves me unconditionally... someone who loves me for me...

i need that someone.. sigh...

Doesn't it ever stay
Must it always fade away
Couldn't love ever be Something tangible and real?

Farewell, fairweather friend
Abandonment returns
to taunt me again..

I was caught in your masquerade
Wish I'd stayed beneath my veil
But it just seemed so easy to
Open up myself to you

Once more into the wind
The embers scatter
And the chill settles in...

I only wanted you to stay
Linger and mean the words you said
Foolishly I romanticized
Someone was saving my life for the first time
I only wanted you to be there when I opened up my eyes
I only wanted you to be there when I Opened up my eyes
Doesn't it ever stay?
I only wanted you to
Stay....

....and the story goes on..................

:: juxtaposed by pearle :: Juxtaposed thoughts sanctioned :: Monday, September 25, 2006 | Tag Me Your Comments |

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