...how could i be so cold? selfish and dumb?!!!!

all these feelings i have....my tolerance level has gone down to zero but have i ever considered others? = NO!


all those things that ive said, have i considered others's feelings? = NO!

why am i being so selfish? am i? even if im not what they think i am, why am i misunderstood million of times? maybe could it be that i have to change myself? my feelings are so hurt....im bad at emotions....all i know and all i think is abt myself! my god! im so selfish! i juz realise it! im so fucking ass fucked up bitch who doesnt deserve to be loved! im so fucking mean to other ppl...always hurting the ppl i love! why pearle!? why?! but i know that i din do that to cause hurt but why ppl still think i am? thats what i need to do...do some soul searching! my body is all haywired....who the fuck cares? no one cares for me.... i dun think they shud.... i mean i always think abt myself.... or make others think that i do....

why? what is it abt me that needs change? pls tell me...i need to get my life sorted out...i dun wanna be the cold hearted bitch that everyone thinks i am...or so thinks i am...i dun want them to misunderstand me..i wnnna be an open book..not some good cover and ppl dun wanna read whats inside....
they said dun judge a book by its cover...yeah.... now i wonder whats in the cover? whats in the book?

whats in it for me? ppl perceive me to be somewhat not what i am...they think that im like that....but im not...my character is not really what it shows....it takes a while to get to know me...the real me.... but once u get to know the real me..its the matter weda you still wanna be with me.... im always causing pain and misleading perceptions of ppl over me... i need to change! i cant always hurt my love's feelings! sombdy pls tell me! i need help! i want this to be the best! i treasure this as my life... pls tell me what i shud do....what i muz do .... i really need change... i want a change! i want to change for US! i dun want to be a nag like what he said i am....i am not a nag! the real me doesnt nag! the real me doesnt do that...if you can change the way i talk abt my sarcastic ways to you and others....you can change this bit in me... i need to change to be a better person, not the personafied bitch who always piss u off and make you feel low! i want to do it. i want a change! so that i can be a better person....to you...to us...to everyone! help me pls baby? can you?


change is good...i want to change.